Ever find that your child needs something from you “urgently” when you are either on the phone, preparing dinner or some other crunch-time moment? They seem to pick the moments of the day when you are the least available to them. Some part of you thinks, “Oh, geez, they are just doing that to get attention.” And, you’re right. Children do need our attention. In fact, authentic presence and connection is a universal need – just like air, food and water. We all need focused, empathic attention.
“The past is the past. Don’t cry over spilled milk. Put it behind you. Get over it already.”
We all have voices within ourselves that say these kinds of things. Usually it is after some event or interaction has left us feeling angry, lonely, or hurt. These messages are from parts within ourselves that want to protect us. By saying these things they calm us down and prevent us from becoming “triggered” – feeling and reacting from the “emotional baggage” of our old, painful experiences and self-limiting beliefs.